Daily

We didn't talk with MLL today, though I sent him a message, talked the past days. Nothing really is changed there. We don't talk much. He's cold-ish. And I feel really stupid about it. I see there isn't any chance for me to be with him, but I feel sad about it, which is just wrong.
I meditated last night... Off topic, this girl is awesome, I really enjoy her voice...

I used this guided meditation, I have tried various, but I think this one is from the top...
So, back to the story...
There was a voice, male... "He's going to be yours."... I saw MLL, the voice said that he's having a wall around him, and he doesn't let anyone in... (Something about wall MLL did have told me a long time ago.) And I just wanted to hug him... The voice said that I can break that wall, if I want... And I saw MLL, I saw and a brick wall, and I was holding a hammer, shining with a white light. And I bashed at the wall, till it exploded... And he came to me... And he hugged me... And didn't want to let me go... The voice said that I am the only one that can do this, and I shouldn't let him down, because he won't have anyone else. And again that he will be mine, because we love each other very much... And saw MLL at a very high and jumped down... A leap of fate... (Just like in "Assassin's Creed") Only this time he jumped and hoped for me to catch him up... It was so high... But he jumped... And I caught him... And then we got together on a journey... He just did not want to let me go... Stick to me like glue... The voice said that he will be mine very soon... Felt very real...
I don't know is it true, don't know what will be in the future... But it felt good...
And today... He didn't talk to me... Yeah...